世界觀點：校長來信 | 以更溫柔的心幫助未成年的孩子們 A Primary Principal Letter to HD Families

2022年，12月，一個特殊的冬天，一些困難的時刻。

北京赫德用心為全校每一個家庭準備了暖冬禮包，由校車司機、校車阿姨和保安哥哥一起，為孩子們親手送上。校車那一抹亮眼的黃就像是川流的陽光，家長們說：看到由遠及近熟悉的校車燈光，整個冬天都瞬間被點亮。

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每個孩子的禮包里，有一封學部專屬的校長來信，今天讓我們先來一起來讀一讀小學校長們的話。

1000份禮包在安靜的赫德大廳等待出發

以更溫柔的心，

幫助未成年的孩子們

——寫給赫德大人們的一封信

親愛的赫德家庭的大人們：

大家好。

甲骨文的“大”和“人”是同一個字：雙腳站穩，立于天地之間。劈開混沌，分開天地，并為萬物命名，是“大人”的使命。

于是，孩子們看到了花鳥魚蟲、大江大河，他們也因此能超越眼前之物，看向更遼闊的星空、更神秘的宇宙。

于是，才有了“夢想“、“希望”、“未來”這樣讓大人們不懈怠、不消沉的詞語。

身處時代的浪潮中，沒有人是一座孤島。疫情反復的日子里，任何人的悲傷都是我們的悲傷。但是，我們又能迅速跳脫出來，專注于我們所能把握的，所能掌控的事情之中：家長們用最溫柔、堅定的心，陪伴孩子，支持孩子，也在不斷鼓勵著老師們。老師除了上課、批改作業，和孩子們的一對一溝通，還有大量的需要教研的時間：從一個字，到一道題，到一本書……線上教研，大家熱烈討論，真誠對話，我們是多么希望，能為孩子擋住外面的喧囂，讓他們的天空永遠湛藍。

雖然額外的消耗太多，可是，不曾聽到老師們一句抱怨，反倒看到更加飽滿的熱情：反復討論課堂細節，細致批閱作業，耐心一對一指導。就像一個老師說的：孩子是我們的明天啊。

是啊，明天。

我們也因此知道，讓孩子成為燦爛的明天，就要珍視他們的每一個今天。今天還不夠美好，那我們就創造一個出來吧。所以，我們就創造出來了啊。今天，當下，我們過的每一分鐘，有愛，有熱情，有悲憫。孩子進步了，歡欣鼓舞；孩子眼睛疲憊了，焦灼不安；孩子主動約聊學習，雀躍不已……

我們都渴望課堂應該有的樣子：圍繞著偉大事物，我們和孩子們圍坐在一起，彼此對視，發表觀點，相互碰撞；孩子們會會心一笑，也會爭得面紅耳赤；安靜的寫作業時，一塊橡皮在桌子上的游動，都是潤澤的。

我們也都渴望教育應該有的樣子：孩子們自由奔跑歡笑，孩子們享受友情，也學習尊重、責任、誠實、公平和同理心，孩子們去探索每一個領域，并在探索中發現自己，成為自己。

對明天有多大的渴望，當下，我們就有多大的努力。

疫情之中，我們對活潑潑的生命也有了更多的思考。每一個善良而勇敢的人，每一個能獨立思考又有同理心的人，從小，就應該被溫柔以待。懷著愛的理性，才是真正的理性。

愛孩子，就要理解孩子，鼓勵孩子，給到孩子安全，讓孩子有尊嚴和成就感，是大人們的第一任務。

孩子和大人一樣，有獨立的人格，獨立的世界。但孩子心智還沒有成熟之前，又必須需要大人的保護。成長的路上，沒有一帆風順。孩子會跌倒，會受傷，會委屈，會痛哭，會有很多說不出的情緒，會遇到很多過不去的坎兒。一個能夠被大人理解的孩子，也能學會去理解自己，理解他人和世界，能無論遇到什么，都能向著明亮的方向；一個能不斷被大人鼓勵的孩子，天生內在的勇氣就能被發展出來，并保持終生。鼓勵不是贊美，鼓勵是對孩子的信任和信心，贊美則要慎重：如果通過贊美來激勵孩子，贊美就成了目的，是對內驅力的損傷。

能夠被理解和鼓勵的孩子，遇到傷痛，也能自愈，傷痛就成為成長的營養。這首詩，很能說明教育的療愈功能。

海

廢名

我立在池岸

望那一朵好花

亭亭玉立

出水妙善——

“我將永不愛海了！”

荷花微笑道：“善男子，

花將長在你的海里。”

我們當然也知道啊，大人也是平凡的人，家長們要照看孩子，還要處理自己的工作；很多老師也是上有需要照顧的老人，下有上網課的娃，我們會有自己的疲憊和焦灼。我還是引用郭初陽老師的一段話吧：

“要自知己身的限度，圣女小德蘭自比為一朵小白花，特雷莎嬤嬤說自己只是一支鉛筆，跌倒后又站起，破碎了方愈合。心里作難的老師，深知三折肱為良醫的道理，帶著自己的傷痕，來更溫柔的幫助那些未成年的孩子們。”

字敲到這里，心里一陣陣溫熱。

想到家長們說的一句話：雞飛狗跳的居家生活中，孩子們幸好還有老師的陪伴。

老師們在親愛的家長那里，得到的理解和鼓勵，是莫大的力量。

大雪落，一年過，讓我們一起迎接冬至，那個太陽重生的日子。

一份禮物，一封來信，表達著我們每一位赫德人的愿望：

愿所有的大人安好。愿所有的孩子安好。愿每一個笑顏盡快重聚于校園。

愿每一個赫德的大人，永遠活成一束光，孩子們就會追光而行；

愿每一個赫德的大人，永遠相信自己的力量，孩子們就會相信自己；

愿每一個赫德的大人，永遠保持心中的善良，孩子們就會安寧從容。

讓我們一起，把“大人”這兩個字，活出來，亮起來。

北京赫德小學部

常麗華、楊玉翠、Kim Fisher、Ilana Stadler

2022年12月

晝夜忙碌不息的赫德校車和赫德人

赫德孩子們和家庭們分享快樂

Support our children with a gentler heart

---A letter to HD parents

Dear HD family parents:

Hello everyone.

In ancient Chinese, ‘adult’ is described as "big" and "human", standing firmly on both feet between heaven and earth. It is the mission of the "big human" to split the chaos, separate the heaven and the earth, and name all things.

And so, the children saw flowers, birds, fish, insects, rivers and they were able to look beyond their eyes to a broader starry sky and a more mysterious universe.

And therefore we have words like "dream", "hope" and "future", which ensure that adults are not careless nor lose hope.

In the tide of the times, no one is an island, and anyone"s sorrow is our sorrow. However, we can quickly jump out and focus on what we can grasp and control: parents accompany and support their children with the most gentle and firm hearts, and they also constantly encourage teachers. In addition to classes, our teachers spend a lot of time correcting homework, in one-on-one communication with children, and preparing for lessons- from a word to a question to a book. At faculty meetings, everyone discusses enthusiastically and talks sincerely. How we hope that we can block the hustle and bustle outside for our children, so that their sky will always be blue.

Never have we heard a complaint from teachers. Instead, we see more enthusiasm, repeated discussions about classroom details, careful homework reviewing and patient one-to-one guidance. As a teacher once said, “children are our tomorrow”.

Yes, tomorrow.

We also know that to give children a bright “tomorrow”, we must cherish every “today” of their lives. If today is not good enough, then let"s create one. So, we created it. Today, right now, every minute we live, there is love, passion, and compassion. The children have made progress and we are rejoicing; the children"s eyes are tired in the online classes and we are anxious; the children take the initiative to learn, and we are excited...

We all yearn for what the classroom should be like: sitting together with children, looking at each other, expressing and exchanging opinions around great things. The children will smile gently with understanding, and they will also debate fiercely with each other. When quiet homework time comes, even the smallest sound can be heard.

We are all long for what education should be like: children running and laughing freely, enjoying friendship, learning respect, responsibility, honesty, fairness, and empathy, and exploring every field, finding themselves through their exploration.

How eager we are for tomorrow, how much effort we put in today.

During the epidemic, we also had more thoughts on the vitality of life. Every kind and brave person, every person who can think independently and has empathy, should be treated gently from early childhood.

To love children, we should understand them, encourage them and give them safety. Letting children have dignity and a sense of achievement is the first task for adults.

Children, like adults, have independent personalities and independent worlds. But before the child"s mind is mature, one must need the protection from adults. There is no smooth sailing on the way to growth. Children will fall, get hurt, be wronged, cry bitterly, have many unspeakable emotions, and encounter many difficult hurdles. A child who can be understood by adults can also learn to understand himself, others and the world, and can move in a bright direction no matter what he encounters; a child who can be continuously encouraged by adults can develop his natural inner courage and keep it for life. Encouragement is not praise. Encouragement is trust and confidence in children. We should be careful with praise: if children are encouraged by praise, praise will become the purpose and this will cause damage to the internal motivation.

Children who can be understood and encouraged can heal themselves when they encounter pain and turn the pains into nutrition for growth.

Of course, we also know that adults are ordinary people, too. Parents need to take care of their children while handling their own work; many teachers also have elderly people to take care of and younger children who have online classes. We will have our own fatigue and anxiety. Let me quote a passage from Teacher Guo Chuyang:

"Be aware of your own limitations. Saint Teresa compared herself to a small white flower. Mother Teresa said she was just a pencil who fell and stood up again-only once she was broken could she heal. Teachers who are struggling deeply understand this Chinese saying: one can only be a good doctor when he has broken his own bones several times. With our own scars, we come to help those children more gently."

I felt warm when I wrote this.

I thought of what parents said about the busy and messy stay-at-home time: “ Our children are blessed to be accompanied by their teachers.”

The understanding and encouragement that teachers get from the parents is a great strength.

The “Greater Snow” has passed and let us welcome the winter solstice together, the day when the sun will be reborn.

With this gift pack and this letter in your hands, we would like to express our sincere wishes to the HD community:

May all adults be well. May every child be well. May every smiling face reunite on campus soon.

May every adult of HD lives as a beam of light, and the children will follow the light;

May every adult of HD believes in their own strength, and children will believe in themselves;

May every adult of HD keeps kindness in heart, and the children will be peaceful and calm.

Let us live out and light up the word "Big Human" together.

HDBJ Primary

Kim Fisher, Ilana Stadler,Amy Chang, Yucui Yang

December, 2022